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I'm Scared Of Change But Don't Dare Stay The Same

The World Is Spinning As I Stay In Place

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Created on 2015-03-29 17:32:42 (#2393217), last updated 2015-05-28 (121 weeks ago)

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Name:Tadashi Hamada | AU | "Saionji"
Birthdate:May 31
Location:San Fransokyo, California, United States of America
Big Hero 6 AU. No spoilers, because it diverges from before canon started, though it's canon-compliant up to a certain point involving fire. Can be played pre-canon, early canon or post-canon.


When he was just barely seven, Tadashi Hamada witnessed his parents' deaths, something so horrible his mind had to block it out entirely in order to function. Trouble should have been spotted right away psychologically when he showed no recognition of his little brother or Aunt Cass for twelve hours after the firefighters got him and his little brother out of the house, and refuted that he was Tadashi, instead referring to himself as Saionji. As he had been watching the San Fransokyo television program Detective Saionji at the time, the child psychologist assigned to the case said he was likely 'playing pretend' in order to emulate a character who could face death and it was an understandable reaction. And had the Saionji personality gone away forever, it would have been a blip on the radar of his life, but over the years being a genius, father figure to his little brother, and facing an uncertain future of student debt and one of the most exclusive universities in the country all built up mountains of pressure. He was too nice to burden his friends with everything on his mind so he kept going, trying to keep way too many balls in the air, because Tadashi Hamada is a nice person. He's kind, he's dependable, he's a great big brother, he's a diligent worker. He's almost too perfect.

Saionji is a cold, cruel, sadistic loner who, when Tadashi got accepted into the San Fransokyo Technological Institute, showed himself not to be a case of playing pretend, but a trauma-induced second personality that was readily reawakened by this one extra bit of pressure topping off Tadashi's too-heavy load. Communicating with Tadashi through their shared cellphone, Saionji laid out his point of view on the situation: that he can have the fun Tadashi needs and wants, and they'll get through this together. What seemed off and suspiciously too good to be true got worse as Saionji manifested late at night more regularly and had the good sense to tell Aunt Cass he was working late at the lab. His actual activities were a lot less savory, as Tadashi realized with a sinking sort of feeling when Saionji pre-emptively texted him, 'When you catch the news, just remember I can hurt Hiro. Don't even think of going to the police. I have all your genius too, remember? Don't start a battle with me. I'm heavily armed. ;)'

The news reported on a very bizarre killing spree a criminal using a low-volume EMP mini-generator had gone on. No video or picture footage survived because of the tech, and the evidence on the bodies would be hard to obtain since they appeared to have all been knocked unconscious and burned to death. All seven were criminals, gang members like the kind who had killed Tadashi's parents.

After throwing up, panicking, debating who if anyone to go to and what to do, Tadashi tried his hand at looking through psychological textbooks. He couldn't risk his little brother Hiro being killed by a madman, so he would have to look for ways to erase the madman from existence entirely. Although most psychologists recommend integration therapy, that would come dangerously close to implicating himself, and what kind of life would Hiro have with his older brother and only male role model in jail? No, the only cure was to try to make sure he wasn't stressed out enough to trigger Saionji's reappearance and to throw himself into his work, try to suppress him through ignoring him and ultimately, by unlocking the memory he's never been able to access, that of his parents' deaths. If he could unlock what his mind blocked out, the reason for the other personality's existence, it would be over, as he would no longer need to fall back on the psychopath in order to function. Thus the already stressful life of Tadashi became a race against time to try to fix this before the death toll climbs any higher, as it so often does now. Hiro's getting into illegal botfighting is not helping Tadashi keep his stress levels down any, but he can't tell anyone, can't let everybody down. Tadashi just wants for things to be okay. That shouldn't be a tall order to fill, not in any kind of fair and just world. He wants to be an inventor and a family man, see his little brother do something with his life, have normal problems instead of... this mess he thought he was done with when he was a little kid.

Saionji finds this endlessly amusing and frustrating in equal parts, and their text debates go back and forth over one point again and again: that Saionji is helping people, a lot of people, in fact. And isn't that what Tadashi wants, too?

Tadashi responded by building Baymax.


Tadashi is 18 in this AU, mun is older and should know better. Terrifyingly I'm not the first person to come up with the serial killer idea. I must instead credit whoever threw together the serial killer Tadashi playlist on 8tracks radio, which inspired this trainwreck of an AU and can be found here:
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